Thank you, Lord
remembering some of what He has done
It is hard to caputre all the things God has done in the short time since the prayer room has been open. And it is just the beginning! Above are pieces of some of the responses that have been passed onto me in the pictured texts, but the bulk of this post will be a testimony written from a dear friend who none of us knew before she found her way into this space; now she is an integral part of our prayer room, Speak Up, and Tables communities. Our dear Noel. Read her powerful story below.
It has only been a few months since I first walked into the Prayer Room in Rock Hill, SC, and already I have seen the changes in myself and in my faith.
That day was difficult because, although a small light of hope had been growing in me, I was also filled with doubt, fear, and uncertainty. I felt I had been spiritually dying, even though God had done so much for me in my life. I was wrestling hard with the warfare of life, spiritual and otherwise. I had survived much, but still had to learn how to thrive.
As I was walking up the stairs to the prayer room, I kept asking myself, “Am I doing the right thing?” The day before, I had engaged in a long conversation with God. He showed up through poetry as I wrote feelings I knew I needed to explore. Still, I wondered, “Where do I start? What if I fail…at being?”
When I opened the door to the space, something happened that is difficult to put into words. A stream of light was coming in the very moment I walked in. It was unnaturally bright, and as it hit my face, I smiled and exhaled. I looked around in disbelief. How is this possible? I saw the couches, chairs, books, journals, and another room around the corner. I was in disbelief at all I saw before me. For years, my heart had been aching to touch a wailing wall, and there it was! My eyes took in a painting station, a forgiveness station, and all the art throughout the rooms for reflection on walking with Christ. The poem I had written the day before seemed to mirror the intention in those paintings hanging so beautifully on the wall. Without thinking, I just sat on the floor and began to write with my hand on the wailing wall.
My hand was moving, and I sensed my heart opening. Words about forgiving those who have wronged me, even as I have been forgiven. I felt I was being reborn in the image God intended for me. Intention is a powerful word, and it was so evident in this space. Intentional words of reflection, intentional design, and intentional prayer. Prayer began to come forth from me in a fierce way. Prayers for my mom, who was about to go through surgery. Prayers of thanks for all God has done for me in my life, in both my darkest times and in all that has brought me so much love and joy.
What felt most significant on that first visit was that after years of therapy, group and self-recovery efforts, it was all there. So many things I had been encouraged to do in my journey to recover from trauma were right there in the stations of the prayer room! Each one had another prompt toward healing and freedom. The mirror in the Identity station offered time to let go of the image I had held onto of myself, and helped me begin to see the Christian woman He designed without shame. And the windows throughout! My degree is in environmental design, and I could write a book about the importance of large windows. The way everything was placed felt Spirit-led. I instinctively knew: the Holy Spirit dwells here.
A friendly and warm face popped around the corner, scaring me, which made me laugh out loud. I learned her name was Lauren, and she and others in the community there would become dear friends. I cannot thank her enough for her authentic and meaningful prayer that day. And a full belly laugh as well! That was another huge breakthrough, prayer hands on me without feeling uncomfortable or afraid. Trust. I trust this. I trust this process. I trust in salvation. I trust I was led here. I trust these hands and these words. I trust. My intellect taking a back-seat, my body relaxed, and purpose and truth in me being watered like parched seeds.
What has come since that day continues to be a journey, and I have slowly let things go that have needed to go. My life is cleaning up, habits are changing, and I have been reminded of the unconditional love of Jesus Christ.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:3-5)
These words really feel true in this space.
When I reflect on my walk, it has not been perfect. When I think of the ways I coped, they were sinful. When I think of some of the ways I tried to heal, they were wrong. When I think of all I have lost, I am humbled. When I think of the times I hurt others with words, I am shaken. And yet all of those wrong ideals led me here, to this moment, in this place, to realize I am worthy.
What a world this would be if everyone could use a Prayer Room like this to navigate their healing and to strengthen their commitment in daily life. Here, those on the edges or who have felt forgotten can find community and safety. Here, people who thought they were not artists or writers are finding a new way to communicate with God. Here, people can come for soul care—it’s offered in the space itself, as well as in the people who volunteer here, as well as in the activities that take place. And I wish that more would use it! It is for everyone. I could imagine women going to a spa day to decompress, beginning or ending that session with time in the prayer room to spiritually center. Or people who are about to travel gathering in this space to pray for protection and safety first. Church staffs or business teams taking time to seek wisdom for the seasons ahead. That is the world I see: one full of hope when I open those doors each day.
People in my life have noticed a significant change in my daily attitude and how I deal with stress, anxiety, and flashbacks. My desires have changed. I now no longer want to rely on things that don’t align with my faith. For years, I felt I had to hide my faith; honestly, doing that was not only inauthentic, it was soul-depleting. I know I am not alone in feeling that way. But then a spark ignited! The flame started small, and I found myself with others who not only wanted to nurture my faith, but who show me how to orient my whole life by it. Then there is the Speak-Up community… I could write a novel on the foundation it’s being built on and the importance of that community with so much positivity and HOPE! I cannot thank God enough for what He has done. I know there will be a day soon when, without thought or no hesitation in marvelous supernatural glee, my hands will be up and wide open, and my arms will be reaching for the sky in praise. For now, quietly…I am beaming from the inside and learning each day the gifts we can receive when we come together and give thanks to our Lord and Savior. AMEN!
If you haven’t spent time alone or with others in the prayer room, I can’t recommend it enough. You just may have to do it the old-fashioned way: see it to believe it. If someone had tried to describe it to me, I am not sure it would have done it justice.
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Love this Noel. Thank you so much for sharing.